Thank you and same to you. You are 100% correct on the emotional and psychological damage inflicted on the boy by his mother’s neglect. I do try not to judge, it’s very possible something happened to her at some point to warp her sense of natural? I am reminded of a couple who, in the foyer of their home had adorable photos of their daug…
Thank you and same to you. You are 100% correct on the emotional and psychological damage inflicted on the boy by his mother’s neglect. I do try not to judge, it’s very possible something happened to her at some point to warp her sense of natural? I am reminded of a couple who, in the foyer of their home had adorable photos of their daughter at bath time. A female guest seeing the images became upset and deemed them pornographic - they were in no way sexual or suggestive… then again, I grew up on a farm with a big claw foot tub and all of the kids were bathed in the same water - us girls first, but the boys always got fed first… sorry I digress. My point is, if a ‘naked baby’ engenders any feelings or thoughts of sex, get help. Please, get help! (Diapers in a swimming pool are disgusting. Nude children are precious. They are in no way whatsoever sexual.)
Based on the literature I've read of Somatic Experiencing and other body centric stress physiology modalities - and even non Somatic psychology models - "hurt people, hurt people" - Meninger. I got that quote from the book, "Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma", by Dr. Ronald Goldman, who quoted the psychologist, Meninger (I hope I'm spelling their name right, this is from my memory, which may be faulty in this regard).
A healthy person does not abuse others. They were first abused, then go on to abuse others if they keep the behavior unconscious. Even when the behavior becomes conscious it can still be a struggle because a trauma response like avoiding all people and never connecting with them, used to be a good strategy if you were, say, sexually abused as a child, but when you have your own children you need to connect with them - if you never resolved your own trauma by coaxing your body into a state that actually matches the present environmental safety level (regulating the nervous system) - then you will be misattuned to your child, and you won't be able to pass on the good things they need and you will also give them the bad things you yourself were given.
Who you are is the sun of the parenting of your entire lineage - lots of what we think is our personality is actually a bundle of trauma responses that never got to complete and are wreaking having on our physiology, like pressing the gas and the brake pedal down on a vehicle, at once. Lots of inner tension - holding back trapped life force that could be used for constructive and loving purposes....
I'm going off on a huge tangent.
But, yes - I'm learning to see my parents and everyone else as people that also have hurts - unresolved, unaddressed.
It's difficult to reconcile that with how badly I want to communicate how I see certain things, like male genital mutilation, to other people.
This has definitely been a driving force in my maturation.
Contending with what we've been avoiding or what hurts like hell - makes us feel grief, helpless, useless, murderous rage, etc. - that contention tends to spurn growth. Painful growth.
"One day, this pain will be useful to you."
These parents deserve grace, too. The ones that did not know better. The ones that didn't get what they needed (or got something they did not need which damaged them) from their parents and so on.
As for your remark about the female guest and the photos of the children at bath time. Yes, what we say often speaks most about who we are, and our relationship with ourselves which was formed by how our parents treated us. Psychological projection is happening all the time to all of us - it's just not always obvious how to accurately interpret the meaning.
Another way to think of psychological projection is: we're always dreaming, even when we're awake - it's just that the physical objects of the waking world superimpose themselves on top of the dream world that is still their underneath. When you fall asleep, that superimposition gives way to what was still always living on in the background.
As for the feelings of sex when seeing a nude child, it could also be that is being felt because the person themselves has been molested as a child. Those that are very protective of children often project the desire for protection they wish they had as a child onto the current child they see as an adult.
There's more to it than that. There's always more, I suppose.
I mean, if the molested adult mixes the aforementioned feelings with anger and feelings of helplessness, they may recreate the situation by molesting a child. Man or woman. I've heard stories of teenage babysitters taking advantage of young boys or girls - and of course, young men, too. No need to make a gender war out of it. But, those that have been molested have a higher chance of molesting than the general population, but we're not lottery tickets and we can proactively seek help. The danger of stats is not considering them, but also judging everyone by then, as well. Hedge your bets and be a good judge of character, is the best way. Only way to soundly so that is to know yourself, truly. And that's painful.
Okay, I'll keep rambling if I don't stop.
I guess the point is, a lot of this is tricky, unconscious and cyclical, passed on.
Rant any time! You give great rant! Are you familiar with the South Afrikan rappers Die Antwoord? One of their friends, Wanga had come of age. He was upset, sad, scared, that he was to be taken into the jungle and ‘made a man’ with a machete! So Ninja and Yolandi made this video with him to scare off his tribesmen!!
I actually did have someone mention this song to me a while back, I think on the Foregen (https://www.foregen.org/) Discord server someone mentioned this to me.
I almost forgot about it.
I'm glad that artists like them are bringing light to this when so many stay silent.
Thanks for the reminder - I think I'll add the song to the "Intactivist" folder on my phone :)
Day by day, we will overturn all of these wrongdoings.
Their description of the incident has been taken down, at least in America. Too bad, it was very sweet and SUPER EFFECTIVE! It’s on a Brit show - ‘Zoom zoom’ or ‘boom boom’, I forget.
I changed my VPN location to the UK and then to Norway - the description for the music video on YouTube stays the same - perhaps, you were referring to the description being taken down in America on a different platform?
Or maybe my test was a failure for unforeseen reasons - although, it did show my location change on the YouTube website in my settings at the top right.
Either way, I'm not surprised that Americans would want to hide and suppress this topic - they know it's wrong. You don't hide what you're proud of and you know is moral.
If you only knew the spins my mind has made in order to recall ‘BOING BOING’ for you. Maybe reach out to Die Antwoord? Ninja is quite proudly intact and very much a man. They devoted a great deal of their talent, time, money and energy to save just one foreskin! I think it would be lovely for them to allow its use formally in the fight to end forced genital mutilation of any sort!
(I’m from what I understand, not always ‘proper’ and have a different sense of humor… honesty it seems can be offensive and genuine self expression easily twisted into something else. Please, don’t get me wrong and thank you for asking me to clarify that which previously, I did not make clear!)
Yes, that's a great idea - I have made attempts to contact celebrities, public figures, etc. - and in some cases, it has been successful.
I, like many other intactivists have a running list of people, groups, etc., that would be good candidates to approach to speak out on this issue, either because they have already done so, themselves - or for other salient reasons.
You mean the YouTube description section of the music video you linked to me is blank only in America - but, it is there for other countries?
What's on a Brit show? The song was featured on a British TV show?
Thanks for the info.
I'm going to access the music video on YouTube using a VPN from a different country - to see if the description shows up or not. IF - I'm interpreting what you're saying correctly, that is!
BOING BOING!!! That’s the name of the show no longer available in America (at least for free?) I knew it would come to me! ‘Boing Boing’, possibly, ‘Jenny does Boing Boing’. It
Is a ‘green room’ type ‘evening with’ show which interviews musicians. On it, Ninja and Yolandi Vissar tell their story as well as the details regarding each one of their videos in chronological order.
When they got to ‘Evil Boy’ it shed… darkness and light all over MGM, especially for young men in South Africa. Years ago I heard of the ritual inflicted on teenaged boys in order to become ‘men’. At the time, as any compassionate person would, I thought “Oh that’s just awful!” But back then I did not know Wanga. Of course, we have never been introduced but the narration of the event and subsequent victorious video feat. Wanga! has firmly secured his place in my heart. You know, know a couple of rather clever content providers on Odysee. I believe I’ll see if I can’t find a way to share that broadcast with you. The Zef crowd may be rather wild, unorthodox and down right pure white trash, but hearts of gold shine through every veneer untarnished.
Thank you and same to you. You are 100% correct on the emotional and psychological damage inflicted on the boy by his mother’s neglect. I do try not to judge, it’s very possible something happened to her at some point to warp her sense of natural? I am reminded of a couple who, in the foyer of their home had adorable photos of their daughter at bath time. A female guest seeing the images became upset and deemed them pornographic - they were in no way sexual or suggestive… then again, I grew up on a farm with a big claw foot tub and all of the kids were bathed in the same water - us girls first, but the boys always got fed first… sorry I digress. My point is, if a ‘naked baby’ engenders any feelings or thoughts of sex, get help. Please, get help! (Diapers in a swimming pool are disgusting. Nude children are precious. They are in no way whatsoever sexual.)
Based on the literature I've read of Somatic Experiencing and other body centric stress physiology modalities - and even non Somatic psychology models - "hurt people, hurt people" - Meninger. I got that quote from the book, "Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma", by Dr. Ronald Goldman, who quoted the psychologist, Meninger (I hope I'm spelling their name right, this is from my memory, which may be faulty in this regard).
A healthy person does not abuse others. They were first abused, then go on to abuse others if they keep the behavior unconscious. Even when the behavior becomes conscious it can still be a struggle because a trauma response like avoiding all people and never connecting with them, used to be a good strategy if you were, say, sexually abused as a child, but when you have your own children you need to connect with them - if you never resolved your own trauma by coaxing your body into a state that actually matches the present environmental safety level (regulating the nervous system) - then you will be misattuned to your child, and you won't be able to pass on the good things they need and you will also give them the bad things you yourself were given.
Who you are is the sun of the parenting of your entire lineage - lots of what we think is our personality is actually a bundle of trauma responses that never got to complete and are wreaking having on our physiology, like pressing the gas and the brake pedal down on a vehicle, at once. Lots of inner tension - holding back trapped life force that could be used for constructive and loving purposes....
I'm going off on a huge tangent.
But, yes - I'm learning to see my parents and everyone else as people that also have hurts - unresolved, unaddressed.
It's difficult to reconcile that with how badly I want to communicate how I see certain things, like male genital mutilation, to other people.
This has definitely been a driving force in my maturation.
Contending with what we've been avoiding or what hurts like hell - makes us feel grief, helpless, useless, murderous rage, etc. - that contention tends to spurn growth. Painful growth.
"One day, this pain will be useful to you."
These parents deserve grace, too. The ones that did not know better. The ones that didn't get what they needed (or got something they did not need which damaged them) from their parents and so on.
As for your remark about the female guest and the photos of the children at bath time. Yes, what we say often speaks most about who we are, and our relationship with ourselves which was formed by how our parents treated us. Psychological projection is happening all the time to all of us - it's just not always obvious how to accurately interpret the meaning.
Another way to think of psychological projection is: we're always dreaming, even when we're awake - it's just that the physical objects of the waking world superimpose themselves on top of the dream world that is still their underneath. When you fall asleep, that superimposition gives way to what was still always living on in the background.
As for the feelings of sex when seeing a nude child, it could also be that is being felt because the person themselves has been molested as a child. Those that are very protective of children often project the desire for protection they wish they had as a child onto the current child they see as an adult.
There's more to it than that. There's always more, I suppose.
I mean, if the molested adult mixes the aforementioned feelings with anger and feelings of helplessness, they may recreate the situation by molesting a child. Man or woman. I've heard stories of teenage babysitters taking advantage of young boys or girls - and of course, young men, too. No need to make a gender war out of it. But, those that have been molested have a higher chance of molesting than the general population, but we're not lottery tickets and we can proactively seek help. The danger of stats is not considering them, but also judging everyone by then, as well. Hedge your bets and be a good judge of character, is the best way. Only way to soundly so that is to know yourself, truly. And that's painful.
Okay, I'll keep rambling if I don't stop.
I guess the point is, a lot of this is tricky, unconscious and cyclical, passed on.
Have a good night!
Please excuse any typos.
May the Wind Be at Your Back!
Rant any time! You give great rant! Are you familiar with the South Afrikan rappers Die Antwoord? One of their friends, Wanga had come of age. He was upset, sad, scared, that he was to be taken into the jungle and ‘made a man’ with a machete! So Ninja and Yolandi made this video with him to scare off his tribesmen!!
https://youtu.be/KbW9JqM7vho
Ah, thank you.
I actually did have someone mention this song to me a while back, I think on the Foregen (https://www.foregen.org/) Discord server someone mentioned this to me.
I almost forgot about it.
I'm glad that artists like them are bringing light to this when so many stay silent.
Thanks for the reminder - I think I'll add the song to the "Intactivist" folder on my phone :)
Day by day, we will overturn all of these wrongdoings.
Please, do have a great day!
May the Wind Be at Your Back.
Their description of the incident has been taken down, at least in America. Too bad, it was very sweet and SUPER EFFECTIVE! It’s on a Brit show - ‘Zoom zoom’ or ‘boom boom’, I forget.
Hmmmm,
I changed my VPN location to the UK and then to Norway - the description for the music video on YouTube stays the same - perhaps, you were referring to the description being taken down in America on a different platform?
Or maybe my test was a failure for unforeseen reasons - although, it did show my location change on the YouTube website in my settings at the top right.
Either way, I'm not surprised that Americans would want to hide and suppress this topic - they know it's wrong. You don't hide what you're proud of and you know is moral.
Thanks for the input.
If you only knew the spins my mind has made in order to recall ‘BOING BOING’ for you. Maybe reach out to Die Antwoord? Ninja is quite proudly intact and very much a man. They devoted a great deal of their talent, time, money and energy to save just one foreskin! I think it would be lovely for them to allow its use formally in the fight to end forced genital mutilation of any sort!
(I’m from what I understand, not always ‘proper’ and have a different sense of humor… honesty it seems can be offensive and genuine self expression easily twisted into something else. Please, don’t get me wrong and thank you for asking me to clarify that which previously, I did not make clear!)
Ah, that makes sense.
Yes, that's a great idea - I have made attempts to contact celebrities, public figures, etc. - and in some cases, it has been successful.
I, like many other intactivists have a running list of people, groups, etc., that would be good candidates to approach to speak out on this issue, either because they have already done so, themselves - or for other salient reasons.
Yes, I'll add them to my list.
Thank you for the information! :)
Woah, wait what?
You mean the YouTube description section of the music video you linked to me is blank only in America - but, it is there for other countries?
What's on a Brit show? The song was featured on a British TV show?
Thanks for the info.
I'm going to access the music video on YouTube using a VPN from a different country - to see if the description shows up or not. IF - I'm interpreting what you're saying correctly, that is!
Thank you!
BOING BOING!!! That’s the name of the show no longer available in America (at least for free?) I knew it would come to me! ‘Boing Boing’, possibly, ‘Jenny does Boing Boing’. It
Is a ‘green room’ type ‘evening with’ show which interviews musicians. On it, Ninja and Yolandi Vissar tell their story as well as the details regarding each one of their videos in chronological order.
When they got to ‘Evil Boy’ it shed… darkness and light all over MGM, especially for young men in South Africa. Years ago I heard of the ritual inflicted on teenaged boys in order to become ‘men’. At the time, as any compassionate person would, I thought “Oh that’s just awful!” But back then I did not know Wanga. Of course, we have never been introduced but the narration of the event and subsequent victorious video feat. Wanga! has firmly secured his place in my heart. You know, know a couple of rather clever content providers on Odysee. I believe I’ll see if I can’t find a way to share that broadcast with you. The Zef crowd may be rather wild, unorthodox and down right pure white trash, but hearts of gold shine through every veneer untarnished.
Thank you for the clarification.
I imagine the video segment is somewhere on the internet.
I'll make it a point to find it.
I mean, I imagine that they have interviews about this music video with Die Antwoord in the States - they couldn't possibly try to censor all of it?
Since this TV show you mention is British, it somewhat makes sense that folks in the USA are unaware of this particular show.
You're getting the gears in my head turning.
Thank you!
Lookie what I found!!! Fast forward to 35:22 (or 36:22?/!)
https://youtu.be/8W1RmnyBNlI
Ah, thank you!
I'm not sure I would have been able to find it in this long video - or otherwise.
I downloaded a copy to take a note of this.
I appreciate the help! It's at 36:22 they start talking about it.
I hope you have a great day (or night)! :)